I first came across this term, “Bridezilla,” when I started planning my own wedding about two years ago while doing some research on the interwebs. The term is apparently coined from the popular monster movie, Godzilla, and the word “bride.” The “-zilla” suffix is added to the word “bride,” which would then mean something like “a monster bride.” This term is usually associated to brides who become so bitchy to everyone that others consider them “monsters”—in a figurative sense of course.
Too bad I lost the link to this online quiz which “determines” if you’re turning to be a Bridezilla or not. But, as we all know, stress can really trigger the monster in all of us. And planning your wedding, can be really stressful. I can’t tell you if you’re already becoming a Bridezilla, but here are some things that might help you not to turn into one
Respect other’s suggestions and opinions
True, it’s your wedding. But you should remember that it’s not just about you, and it’s also a gathering of sorts. You must learn to listen to other’s suggestions and opinions too. Because of the stress, there might be some things that you missed out that others see. They’re not trying to overshadow you, control you, or ruin your wedding plans—they’re just trying to help. There’s no need to be Bridezilla and snap at just about anybody who tries to help. You’re lucky someone cared about you enough to help you know. Besides, they’re only suggestions—you just need to listen, you don’t necessarily have to do it if you don’t want to.
Make up your mind
This is a common Bridezilla thing that I have to admit I also had been guilty of: you must learn to make up your mind when deciding on things. For example, you’ve already decided on a specific custom invitation design. Make it final. Before you even decide on anything, make sure you didn’t decide in haste. You can’t just say, “I’ve decided on this design,” then change your mind later on. Imagine the hassle you will give your supplier. Remember, stuff like that requires raw materials. You can’t just change your mind in the middle of production.
There are times when brides hire freelancers to design their wedding stuff. I’ve heard some complaints from my friends who are freelance wedding suppliers about Bridezillas demanding for changes in the middle of production. Just because they aren’t big companies doesn’t mean you can abuse them. Be considerate. Imagine if the same was done to you. Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean you can hassle anyone and everyone for your “perfect” wedding. Make sure you’ve already reviewed all of your other options before giving your suppliers your final decision.
Learn to compromise
Most of the time, grooms-to-be just let the women do the choosing of wedding stuff and suppliers. My husband himself didn’t want to think about the wedding details and left it up to me, although there were times that he took an active part in the decision-making—especially on things that could possibly affect him directly like the cake flavor and the design of his Barong Tagalog. But sometimes, there are grooms-to-be who would like to be part of the decision-making.
Arguments usually arise especially when the bride and the groom have different tastes. Sometimes these arguments could get so bad that a wedding is at risk of getting called of. The trick here is to not let things get worse. You and your groom-to-be should learn how to compromise. Find a middle ground where you both can be happy with. Some guys may let you have your way just to avoid another argument, but that’s not healthy. You’re not the only one taking vows—your groom-to-be would be too, so you must lower your pride and find a compromise. Remember, it’s not always about you and you alone. It’s about both of you.
Make room for errors
As much as you’d like your wedding to be perfect, you must make room for errors. There are unavoidable things that could happen—technical difficulties on equipment, sudden unavailable materials, etc. You must set your mind that these can happen, and be open to these possibilities. You’ll only add stress to yourself if you keep on wanting things to be perfect.
Is your wedding about how perfect your cake is or it is about you and your man? Don’t forget why you’re getting married in the first place. Sometimes everything just won’t be as “perfect” as you dreamed it to be. But that day would be the day you get married. Perfecting the little wedding details shouldn’t be the source of your happiness, but exchanging vows with the man you’d be spending the rest of your life with should be.
Weddings aren’t about perfect wedding details, it’s about celebrating the love between you and your man.
Find time to relax
The main reason most brides turn out to be Bridezilla is because of the stress the wedding planning brings (ie. “I’m not sure if we’ll have enough money to pay for all these”), or even just the idea of getting married itself. That’s pretty understandable. After all, things change when you get married. It’s ok to be stressed or scared… Just don’t let the stress or fear get the best of you.
Take the time to relax. Read a book. Take a day trip to Tagaytay just to enjoy the scenery. Pamper yourself in a spa. Just do something that will temporarily take your mind off the wedding. Besides, you wouldn’t want to look like a haggard old woman on your wedding day, would you?
These are just some of the more practical ways not be the next Bridezilla. Well, those are the things I know of anyway. If you got ideas on how not to be a bitchy bride (aka Bridezilla), do share!