Yep, RSVP cards weren’t the usual during the time of my parents. I’ve taken a look at my parents’ and my uncle’s wedding invitations (for research when I was doing my own), and they didn’t include inserts other than the Bridal Entourage.

The RSVP card was actually one of the issues my dad and I had when I was planning my own wedding. He said that he understood why we wanted to specify the reserved seats for each guest, but we do have some old-fashioned relatives who would actually find it offensive. Weird? Yeah, I thought so too. But I guess you really can’t blame them. It’s not something that they’re used to.

I asked my dad why it’s going to be offensive, and he said our older guests could perceive it as a form of disrespect. Why disrespect? Well, to them it may seem that you’re giving them a limit (although that’s the point, isn’t it?), and they’re “not special enough” to deserve more than an X number of seats.

For the non-traditional bride, this reasoning sounds a bit ridiculous. Yeah, maybe it is. But, you’d also have to be understanding. Filipinos value respect for our elders, and it won’t really hurt to go the extra mile for your more traditional relatives.

I have to admit that my dad and I argued about this a bit until I understood his point. I’m a practical person, and printing special RSVP cards for a very small number of guests just didn’t seem very economical. I was strongly opposed to giving our guests an impression that they could bring their entire clan to our wedding—we were on a very limited budget. But, as always, there’s always a compromise.

My dad agreed to have RSVP cards, but we left the number of guests blank for those whom he thought would find the limit offensive. I was afraid of the number of people these guests would bring, but my dad assured me that he would explain it personally to the guest that seats are limited. The idea of an RSVP card may seem disrespectful to them, but, they’ll understand the need for limiting the seats better if explained personally.

Making a “big deal” out of RSVP cards definitely adds unnecessary stress to a Filipino bride-to-be, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. One just needs to exert a bit more effort to be understanding, and it’s important to note that we should still remember to show respect to our more traditional guests.

Maybe it’s because weddings are usually grand affairs here in the country; the perfect excuse to dress up and experience the “elegant, high society” life (at least for one day). They usually brought to mind chandeliers, crystal goblets, and expensive china. Not to mention extravagant flower arrangements at every nook and canny of the room. With that grand a wedding, I would say it’s an insult to your invitations if the envelopes weren’t addressed using calligraphy.

Calligraphy adds a touch of elegance to your invitations. And as they say, invitations are usually the first impression your guest will have on your wedding. Your invitations will give them an idea of what to expect. So if you’re planning the classic grand Filipino wedding, make sure that calligraphy expense is on your budget list.

Artists usually charge around Php2,500++ for 100 invitations. I’m not sure though, that’s just me trying to recall a quotation given to me about a year ago. Maybe it’s even more. The point is, I wouldn’t say calligraphy services come in cheap. Although I don’t normally approve of vanity… But if you got the money, why not?

Back during the time of our parents and grandparents, you’d probably be “required” to have calligraphy done on your invitations. It’s traditional. But recently, couples are becoming more practical and daring with their choices. Calligraphy isn’t a need anymore.

There are invitation designs that make use of materials not apt for calligraphy (I know, I make those kinds of invitations as a side job). My own wedding invitations made use of tags, each of them addressed using my own handwriting. Aside from the fact that I saved ourselves the cost of calligraphy, the hand-written address (though I can’t say my handwriting was near to being fantastic) somehow gave the invitations a more personal touch. My guests actually liked the simplicity and the… err… uniqueness of it.

Remember, expensive and extravagant stuff don’t necessarily make an event memorable. It’s really up to you to decide whether to you’d want to just impress your guests, or make sure they have the time of their lives. My husband and I chose the latter—our wedding turned out to be something that won’t just be memorable for us, but for our guests as well.