The 6 things you can tell somebody you don’t want to invite

Let’s face it. As much as you’d like to invite everyone to your special day, you just can’t.

Unbeknownst to most people, I run a small custom wedding invitations business when I’m not doing web design. The question on “how not to invite somebody to my wedding” came up more than once during my client meetings. They have different reasons not to want to invite somebody: limited budget, the venue is too small, or simply because they just don’t like that certain person. But it all boils down to one thing: how will you tell those people you don’t want to invite them to your wedding after they find out you’re getting married?

Here are some ideas…

  1. “Sorry, (name), I’m not sure if we’ll be able to accommodate friends with our measly budget. It would probably be just a family-only affair.”
    This one’s a classic. Really. I used this so often it was a miracle that those I didn’t want to invite didn’t realize that I was partly bluffing. But seriously. This excuse probably works the best. “Friends” should understand that family comes first, especially with our culture (which values family above all).
  2. “Our parents will be the one paying for the expenses.”
    What better way to scare off an acquaintance than to tell them it’s your parent’s call? They don’t know your parents.
  3. “You can ask my fiancé / fiancée / wedding coordinator / my mom / my dad / my dog’s mom, he/she is the one doing the guest list.”
    Sucker! If you’re a wuss, go put the burden of blowing off to someone else other than yourself.
  4. “We don’t have a definite date yet.”
    This would probably work if you don’t see that person often. Just make sure he/she doesn’t have your cellphone number!
  5. “Oh, it’s going to be really early. In Tagaytay. On a weekday.”
    Go on and turn them off. But if this person is so bent on attending your wedding to the point of missing work, booking a hotel room in Tagaytay, and waking up extremely early, I suggest you’d just invite him/her. That’s dedication, baby.
  6. “Really? Who told you I’m getting married? Preposterous!”
    Worse comes to worst, lie like Pinocchio. Just make sure that you don’t get caught 😛

Seriously though… When it really comes down to it, honesty is always the best policy. I’d go with number 1. It’s usually the real reason why you don’t want to invite somebody to the wedding anyway. Just tell them the truth. If they don’t understand your intentions, I don’t really see the point why you’re stressing over it. Real friends would understand, and would probably even help you. If somebody gets mad at you for one measly wedding invite, that person doesn’t deserve getting stressed over. Remember, you’ll need all the energy you can muster on your wedding day!

Posted in Conflict Management, Etiquette, Pre-wedding

3 Comments

Oh, I like #5! 😉 LOL.

I second Sasha’s comment – I like #5. That’s a great way to turn off your suppliers too! I like Tagaytay weddings, but not too early please.

You’re a morning person, aren’t you? 6:35 a.m. and you’re posting already?!?

Haha. Of course not. I wake up at 6PM! 😀

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