“We reserved 2 seats in your honor”

It is almost customary to include an RSVP card in wedding invitations nowadays. Actually, it is customary already, in addition to the Bridal Entourage insert. Those, plus a location map, are what you typically get when you receive a wedding invitation.

wedding invitation RSVP insert

Yep, RSVP cards weren’t the usual during the time of my parents. I’ve taken a look at my parents’ and my uncle’s wedding invitations (for research when I was doing my own), and they didn’t include inserts other than the Bridal Entourage.

The RSVP card was actually one of the issues my dad and I had when I was planning my own wedding. He said that he understood why we wanted to specify the reserved seats for each guest, but we do have some old-fashioned relatives who would actually find it offensive. Weird? Yeah, I thought so too. But I guess you really can’t blame them. It’s not something that they’re used to.

I asked my dad why it’s going to be offensive, and he said our older guests could perceive it as a form of disrespect. Why disrespect? Well, to them it may seem that you’re giving them a limit (although that’s the point, isn’t it?), and they’re “not special enough” to deserve more than an X number of seats.

For the non-traditional bride, this reasoning sounds a bit ridiculous. Yeah, maybe it is. But, you’d also have to be understanding. Filipinos value respect for our elders, and it won’t really hurt to go the extra mile for your more traditional relatives.

I have to admit that my dad and I argued about this a bit until I understood his point. I’m a practical person, and printing special RSVP cards for a very small number of guests just didn’t seem very economical. I was strongly opposed to giving our guests an impression that they could bring their entire clan to our wedding—we were on a very limited budget. But, as always, there’s always a compromise.

My dad agreed to have RSVP cards, but we left the number of guests blank for those whom he thought would find the limit offensive. I was afraid of the number of people these guests would bring, but my dad assured me that he would explain it personally to the guest that seats are limited. The idea of an RSVP card may seem disrespectful to them, but, they’ll understand the need for limiting the seats better if explained personally.

Making a “big deal” out of RSVP cards definitely adds unnecessary stress to a Filipino bride-to-be, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. One just needs to exert a bit more effort to be understanding, and it’s important to note that we should still remember to show respect to our more traditional guests.

Posted in Conflict Management, Invitations & Stationery, Pre-wedding, Wedding Essentials

One comment

Kath :

I can relate. I and my parents had a little argument about this RSVP, :/

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